Growing Pains

"You don't do well with change, do you?" While speaking with my wonderful pastor a few weeks ago, he posed this question. He clearly already knew the answer, but I, on the other hand, had never even considered it. I ended up responding with, "I like the idea of change, but I guess I'm not very fond of it while it is actually happening." Isn't this true of just about all of us?

In elementary and middle school, I was always anticipating my next "growth spurt." I am a relatively short person, and for a very long time I dreamed of being taller. I craved the idea of this physical change. When growth spurts finally did come, my legs would throb and I would have severe knee pains, particularly during my first (and only!) season of track in 7th grade. Like many kids do, I was experiencing growing pains. I ended up wishing my growth spurts would be over quickly. When I finally stopped growing for good in high school, I came to realize how wonderful being short really is. I can wear heels whenever I want and I basically rock at limbo. Sometimes you have to go through some trials and pain to realize how much more important the journey is than the final destination. Ultimately, your idea of the "final destination" may even shift from what you had originally wanted.

In April of 2013, I made the tough decision to transfer to a new college. I didn't have anything against my school. I actually really loved it there, and I still do. I made the decision based on what I needed academically and where I would be able to get the best education for my desired career path in healthcare. After arriving for my first semester at Wheaton, however, the reality began to sink in that I was no longer at Wartburg, and that I couldn't be a part of the things I had loved there. Despite being involved at Wheaton, I struggled to feel like I really belonged on campus. I had a truly rough start to my year, and I contemplated transferring back multiple times. Throughout this process, I really wrestled with God and my faith. I found myself clinging to God when I didn't know what else to cling to. Throughout the semester, I learned a lot about myself and about how to face challenges head-on.

As this semester begins, I look back on where the past year has taken me. I've had a lot of struggles, but I have also had just as many beautiful moments. Though I failed to see it most of last semester, I am successful at Wheaton, and I really do fit it well. The academics are hard, but I have learned to rise to the challenge. Many people here do act differently than most of my friends at Wartburg, but I can adjust and be open. The activities to be involved in here are much different, but I can love new things. The adjustment period was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but I have realized how much stronger that has made me.

Last night a friend said, "You basically get to have two different colleges!" It's true. I do, and I am blessed by that everyday. I set out thinking that I was going to become "a Wheaton College student," when in reality, I get to have memories and share in the joys of both Wheaton and Wartburg. I have a heart for both, however different they may be. You see, it isn't about who you are or what you become, but about the story that has gotten you there. The growing pains were very real as I learned to adapt to my new environment, but I have experienced some incredible people, places, sports, cultures, and more. Sometimes, you need some growing pains to make you stronger, happier, and healthier, and to realize that it isn't all about the destination, but the difficult trip that it takes to get there. You may even surprise yourself with a new, better destination than the one you had planned.