So let it rain...

A year ago this week, my hometown experienced great tragedy. We lost two of our high school students to suicide in one weekend. For weeks now I'm been thinking about what to say when this week finally came. Honestly though, there are no words, and I'm doing the best that I can to find something to say. One thing that I have always been able to really connect with is music, and that's one thing that helped a lot of us express our feelings during this time last year when we were all at a loss for words. In choir, we sang a song by U2 called MLK, which brought a lot of tears for months. Everywhere we sang this song we made audiences cry, even causing the judges at State Contest to cry during our performance.

"Sleep tonight
And may your dreams
Be realized
If the thundercloud
Passes rain
So let it rain
Rain down on him"

As we performed this song, we all held hands and felt connected to one another like we never had before. Suddenly, we realized how much we all meant to each other, and how much we needed each other for support. We couldn't do it alone, and it was okay to feel weak and vulnerable sometimes. During the weeks following the deaths of our classmates, our school came together like it never had before, and likely never will again. I have never felt so close to the 450+ students in my grade, and the 2,000 students in my grade, most of whom I have never even met. We cried with strangers, we prayed with strangers, we openly prayed in a public school, and we leaned on each other for hope and support.

Today, my home church sang a song that was the favorite worship song of one of the young men that we lost, "Overcome" by Jeremy Camp. Since I couldn't be there, my mom texted me to tell me, and I listened to the song here at school.

"Power in hand speaking the Father's plan 

You're sending us out, light in this broken land
We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb 

and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome"

 

By the end of the song, I had tears streaming down my face. These last last few words really hit home for me. This world is so broken, and there is a lot of hurt, but we can overcome. With Jesus and our faith in him, we can overcome anything that comes our way. I've learned that from terrible things comes amazing grace, love and learning. We have all learned something from this tragedy. We have learned to come together as a community. We have learned how to communicate with one another even when words fail us. We have learned that we cannot do anything without faith or without others to help us through. Johnston, I am here for you, this week and always. You have taught me amazing things about love, community, and struggle. I am all the better for that. So be strong, Johnston. Together, we can overcome.

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."

-Oscar Wilde

Scrap the Resolutions: RADIATE!

Happy 2013! Of course, with a new year comes new resolutions: plans to "change your life" in the coming year. For most of us, however, resolutions typically end up failing. A great friend of mine (check her out at neadinspiration.com!) is currently campaigning for New Years "themes" rather than resolutions. The whole point of this is to set yourself up for success instead of failure. By choosing a theme for the year ahead of us, we aren't setting strict laws that we have to abide by. There is no law or rule that is be broken by skipping a day at the gym. Instead, we are setting the stage for how we want to live out the year and how we want to improve our life. As my friend Liz says, this theme will be "a home base for all your actions and improvements."

So of course, I have decided to scrap my New Years resolutions this year! What is my theme for 2013, you may ask? I have chosen "radiate!" By the end of this past semester, I was quite honestly a wreck. I was absolutely exhausted. I just wasn't letting myself be the carefree, happy-go-lucky person that I typically am. Now, it isn't that I completely overworked myself or that I had overcommitted during the semester. I simply got into the "flow" of life, where every single day is the same. This causes all of the days to run together, and life gets quite boring! I have incredible plans for my future, and college is a huge part of that. So how can I take advantage of this time that is given to me this next year and this coming semester? By choosing the theme "radiate," I am setting myself up to live a more exciting, more inspiring life in 2013. I know that I can be that happy-go-lucky, carefree person if I let myself be, which can really affect those around me! I want to be so enthusiastic and excited about my life that it radiates and encourages others as well!

I am so excited about 2013, and I know that great things are yet to come! I am ready to RADIATE!

Check out Liz's blog on New Year's themes here.

Need ideas for your own theme? No problem! Read through this list of themes!

Thanksgiving: Waiting

Doesn't it seem like an odd thing to be thankful for? Waiting.. impatiently waiting. Yesterday, I got stuck in traffic on the interstate. I had gone out to run just a quick errand, so naturally I was very frustrated with stand-still traffic. I passed a sign that said there was an accident, but I assumed that it was just a fender bender. I was very impatiently waiting to just make it to my exit which was about 5 yards away, and I would even say that I had a touch of road rage as I got more and more frustrated.

What exactly was I so impatient for? What was it that was so important that I just couldn't wait another 15 minutes in traffic? I had gone to pick up one simple, little thing for my horse. That's not exactly an emergency, and absolutely could have waited. But I was so caught up in my own desires that I didn't even think about the accident or care about who had been involved in it. While watching the news this evening, I learned that the accident had been a rollover crash that killed an eleven year old little girl. Suddenly, all of my own needs and wants seem so miniscule and trivial. I had been impatiently waiting to get to a store, while a little girl is never going to be able to go to the store again. She'll never get stuck in traffic again. She doesn't have any more opportunities like I still have. The world around me is weighed down with so much hurt, and that is beyond my own frustrations with traffic. How can I be so self-centered about just making it to a store in this situation?

How can this be applied to faith? This past summer, I attended a different church than my usual, and the particular sermon was entitled "Waiting." The church was having a whole sermon series on waiting on God. The pastor spoke about how everybody goes through "seasons of waiting" and that it can be easy to lose faith and become frustrated with our situation. One particular phrase that caught my attention right from the beginning was, "God is not doing this TO you. God is doing something IN you." We all go through times of trial that test the strength of our faith.. I know I've had my fair share of those seasons. During this time of waiting, we need to ask ourselves how we can wait more patiently or how we can "wait well." God is doing something within us, and if we let Him, we can come out of it with a stronger faith and a greater outlook on life. So the next time you go through a period of hardship, frustration and waiting, rely on God and remember that He is working on you, not doing something TO you!

Day 19 of Thanksgiving: Thanksgiving in Tragedy

I had hoped to keep up my list of Thanksgiving throughout November, but as it often does, life got in the way. Between trips home, choir programs, and finals, I just wasn't able to keep up. I fully intend to keep my word though, and still plan on doing all 30 posts of what I am thankful for.

Today, it is particularly easy to count my blessings and think about the things that I am thankful for. In the wake of a tragedy, such as today's elementary school shooting in Connecticut, it is easy for me to praise God for keeping my family, friends and community safe. However, my heart cries for the families that are suffering tonight, and it is hard for me to even find the words to write this. Today's events cause me to be so confused, and I can't even imagine how it could happen...

For about a year and four months now, I have been working at a daycare near my home. I had planned on writing a post about how thankful I am for this job, but now it takes on completely new meaning for me. I am grateful that I even have a job and that I enjoy what I do very much. Every single day when I go to work I am excited to be there, and I enjoy nearly every second spent at the daycare. I have literally fallen in love with "my" kids, the parents, and my coworkers. I am so thankful for them. Today especially, however, I am thankful for every single one of my kids' lives, and how precious and sweet they are. I have learned something from each and every one of them, and would be heartbroken if something happened to ANY of them, not to mention to all of them. I would literally give my own life for these kids if it came down to it, and I'm thankful that it hasn't. Reading about this tragedy in the news makes me want to go hold my babies at work so tightly, and praise God for their lives. I am SO grateful that I have been able to get to know each of these kids, and I am so grateful that I have more days to come with them, unlike the families and teachers and students in Connecticut affected by this. I never want to take another day at work for granted, and I pray for the safety of my own kids tonight, as well as healing for the community of Newtown, CT. My heart aches.

Day 18: High school

My high school experience wasn't exactly the "best time of my life," and brought me many struggles. However, I had many wonderful friends in school, I was involved in many activities, and I took challenging classes that I learned a lot from. Through these experiences, I gained so much knowledge! Without this, I certainly wouldn't be where I am today. I would not be in college, at least not the exceptional college I am at now, I would not enjoy music or singing as much as I do, and I definitely wouldn't have many of the life skills I need to survive in the "real world."

Going to a large high school prepared me well for my relations with people as well. I had many friends, and for the most part got along well with everyone. However, there were just a few instances where I didn't get along with someone and we didn't see eye-to-eye. Because of this, I learned how to better handle disagreement and resolve conflict, a valuable skill!

My high school is known for providing excellent education to students, and I am so thankful for that! Now that I am in college, I am beyond prepared for my course load. I strongly believe that my high school education is what prepared me so well. Without this, I never would have been this successful in college, and for that, I am so thankful to JHS!

Day 17: Extended family

I am so amazed by my family and how wonderful they are! My family supports me through absolutely everything, and I am so thankful for that! Until just a few years ago, I was not close with any of my extended family, since I live very far from them! However, I have gotten to know many of my family members better recently. I am shocked to know how much they care about me, and have always cared about me, even though we weren't close! Suddenly, my support system has grown tremendously, and I am so thankful for that! I definitely feel surrounded by support, and I can't imagine life without this family around anymore! Thank God for this support system!

Day 16: Travel

I have been so fortunate to have been able to travel quite a bit in my life. I love traveling and being able to experience different cultures! Travel allows you to see new places, new environments, try new, unique foods, and meet people completely different from you.

While traveling, I have seen and done some truly amazing things! Each of these opportunities has given me a completely new perspective, and I have seen the majesty of God in so many different, wonderful places! In Ireland, I experienced many Irish celebrations, saw many castles (As they call them, ABCs: "Another Bloody Castle!"), and got to see Irish dance in the very place it originated! I also got to see the beautiful Cliffs of Moher, which are so incredible! The cliffs are massive and absolutely beautiful. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful they are, and how clear God's presence seems to be there!

In Curacao, part of the Netherlands Antilles off the coast of Venezuela, I was able to experience Dutch culture and Dutch food, plus see many amazing sights! Curacao has an amazing aquarium as well, where I was actually able to swim with dolphins! This was absolutely the highlight of my trip! I learned so much about dolphins, and found that they are truly incredible creatures! They are so smart, and I was able to work hands-on with them. What an experience!

I am simply amazed by the wonderful things that God has created, and I am so thankful that I have been able to experience it through travel! I am so blessed by these opportunities!